We have all seen it - the non-apology, apology. It goes something like this, "If what I said [or did] offended you, I am sorry." It might also look like "To the extent my words [or actions] offended you, I apologize." The approaches essentially say "I am not sorry I said or did what I did. I am only sorry you were offended by it." The focus is not that I said or did something wrong, it is that you are somehow wrong because you took offense to me. Many people find it difficult to sincerely apologize. We somehow feel that apologizing somehow degrades us as a person.
Recently AdventHealth recruiters were on the campus of Southwestern Adventist University seeking candidates for their business internship and residency programs. One of their current business residents presented to the students at dinner on Tuesday evening and talked about one of the core values at AdventHealth - the value of "Owning It." What she talked about was recognizing when you make a mistake and taking responsibility for it. "Owning It" doesn't degrade you as a person, it actually builds you up, because by "owning it" you recognize your need to improve - and NOT make that mistake again!
Our phrase from the Lord's Prayer for this week is "Forgive us our sins" (#forgiveusoursins). In 1 John 1:9 we are told that "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Here in 1 John, as well as in the Lord's Prayer in Matthew) the reason for confession is not because God has some sick sense of voyeurism and He wants to know about all the dirt on us. God already knows, He doesn't need us to fill Him in. The purpose of confession appears to be for us to "own it" - to take responsibility for our actions. God wants us to recognize just how serious our transgressions really are, not because He wants to punish us for them, or have us wallow in guilt, but because He wants to forgive us and cleanse us. He wants us to desire forgiveness and cleansing. If we refuse to acknowledge how our actions have injured our relationship with God we will not see the need of forgiveness and cleansing which is necessary for the relationship to be restored.
